Stop, Notice, Appreciate
“Then, heaven, set ope thy everlasting gates,
To entertain my vows of thanks and praise!”
We Americans have been raised with a finite portrait of thanksgiving. We see it in greeting cards, restaurants, decorations, grocery stores, television and other media. It usually looks like this - a house teeming with friends and family, all sitting at a communal table in a large dining room, eating a very specific menu (turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, cranberry sauce, and pumpkin pie).
It ‘s a beautiful portrait but it feels very limiting. This idealized version of thanksgiving (often not representative of what actually happens on this Thursday in November) just feels too small, like a sweater that accidentally went in the dryer. The folks whose thanksgivings don’t look like the ideal are often apologizing or giving excuses why theirs are different: “we’re Italian, so we have pasta for thanksgiving” or “my family is spread out and can’t travel, so I just have a quiet meal alone” or “I work in a hospital so I’ve never been home on thanksgiving.”
Widening the view on the thanksgiving holiday could simply mean exploring the meaning of the word “thanksgiving” and why it is so important to life on Earth.
What if we celebrated thanksgiving a different way, without judgment that it wasn’t the “traditional” thanksgiving?
One where you weren’t running around making sure you have the kind of red wine your brother-in-law likes and the mushroom soup for the green bean casserole, frantically cleaning the house before your OCD aunt arrives, and doing dozens of other errands for a meal that might include a thanksgiving blessing (the reason for the frenzy) that lasts for less than thirty seconds.
A different thanksgiving begins with these words: Stop, Notice, Appreciate. What would that look like?
For starters (for me), I think it would look like not caring so much whether we had the “perfect” recipe for every side dish or whether the dining room chair cushions were free from ketchup stains and cat hair.
So how would it work?
First, stop. As in, stop rushing around. Yes, I know how hard that is. From the minute our eyes open in the morning until we turn off our phones at night, do we really ever stop? That’s what mindfulness is all about - call it meditation, call it prayer, call it sitting in stillness, that’s what it means to stop. Put the phone down, turn off the computer and TV screens, and just sit down. What a crazy concept!
Second, notice. When we take time to stop, it enables us to really notice our surroundings. The brilliant red color of Japanese maple trees in November, the sounds of leafblowers and scurrying squirrels preparing for winter. The watery look of the sun as it gleams through the autumn oak trees. The smell of the earth and dried corn husks. The bite of a frosty morning on your face. Your spouse’s beautiful smile beneath a shock of thick bed-head.
Third, and this is the best part - appreciate. Family and friends, near and far. Angels, laughter, tears, caregivers, pets, hot pizza, warm hugs, water, sky, songs, dancing, ocean waves, snow-topped mountains, and the list goes on. Sometimes appreciating the little things is even better than appreciating the big things.
I had to stop, notice, and appreciate this morning in order to write this blog post. Just the simple act of doing these three things fills me with a feeling of joy, as if everything and everyone in the world is beautiful and meant to be here for a special purpose. It is a good feeling!
That’s because doing these three things enables us to view our lives through the eyes of the heart. Have you ever noticed what it looks like when people are showing gratitude without using words? It looks like this:
When you stop, notice, and appreciate, how does your heart feel? Mine feels full and alive, as if anything and everything is possible.
What does your heart see when you embrace stillness long enough to notice your surroundings? What do you appreciate about this special time of year?
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