Friendship
If Shakespeare were still alive, he would be 457 years old this Friday. In celebration of his birthday, I’d like to share one of my favorite themes from his plays: friendship.
One of the most famous Shakespeare quotes on friendship is from the dark or “problem” comedy, All’s Well That Ends Well. In Act I, Scene 1, the widowed Countess of Roussillon is giving advice to her son, Bertram, who has become a ward of the French king following the death of Bertram’s father. The Countess offers this oft-quoted sage advice to her son:
“Love all, trust a few,
Do wrong to none. Be able for thine enemy
Rather in power than use, and keep thy friend
Under thy own life’s key. Be checked for silence,
But never taxed for speech.”
Yesterday I spent the day with my 12-year-old Miniature Schnauzer, Baby, who is the epitome of her species, man’s best friend. She’s up for anything, be it fishing, boating, car travel, air travel, hiking, biking, the beach, parties, restaurants, meeting new friends, making snow angels, and especially snuggling with the family. She even became an honorary “Gator,” after spending part of a semester at college.
I’ve noticed that what makes Baby so special is not all the fun times we’ve had (even though they are great), its the way she’s always there in the sad or hard times, too.
When someone in the family isn’t feeling well, Baby is the first one to curl up next to them, not wanting anything, not asking to be petted, just being there for support. It became such a common occurrence that we started calling her “nurse dog.”
Several years ago, my aunt was in a hospice care facility, suffering from kidney failure and a host of other end-of-life conditions. One day I asked the director if I could bring Baby by, and although she initially resisted, I barraged her with the wonder of Baby’s nursing skills, and she relented.
My aunt lit up when Baby entered the room. And true to form, Baby nestled in next to her on the bed, doing her job the only way she knew how. She was a limitless source of calm at a particularly anxious time. Several staff members commented that Baby seemed to know that she was there to comfort my aunt - it was a beautiful sight.
As I was leaving, a woman visiting a loved one stopped me and said, “Can she meet my husband? It would make his day.” Of course, Baby was up for that - she actually appeared to be enjoying her role as service dog. The woman’s husband was thrilled and Baby hopped on his bed as if she had known him all her life. I think we visited at least 7 patients that day, and by the time we left, the energy in the building was appreciably more joyful than when we arrived.
Baby lives the advice given by the Countess in All’s Well That Ends Well: “Keep thy friend under thy own life’s key.”
The quote is a little esoteric, but I’ve always interpreted as “treasure your friends, cherish your friendships,” because there is nothing more important than a relationship in which each person feels acknowledged, safe, secure, respected, valued, appreciated, and loved. That’s true friendship, and Shakespeare knew it.
Friends love unconditionally.
The friendship between Hamlet and Horatio in Shakespeare’s tragedy, Hamlet, is a beautiful example of how a trusted friend can share any experience without judgment or criticism, regardless of the circumstances. This true friendship was in stark contrast to Hamlet’s other relationships: Hamlet’s Uncle Claudius killed Hamlet’s father, and then Hamlet’s mother inexplicably married the murderer.
Although Hamlet’s family relations were full of deceit and lies, Horatio stayed true, trusting Hamlet and supporting him through the pain of his family’s multiple betrayals. He didn’t even flinch when encountering the specter of Hamlet’s father, the Ghost. The unconditional love and friendship between Horatio and Hamlet was one of the only constants in the story.
That’s why dogs are often the emblem of friendship and loyalty, because they love unconditionally. Their memories for slights and neglect are short, and when we’re too busy for them, they wait patiently until we come around.
Unconditional love is who we are and what we do.
We could take a page from the book of our furry friends, because loving others without judgment or conditions is not just for dogs, it’s what humanity is all about
There are no stipulations on true friendship. We love and support each other regardless of the circumstances, the passage of time, and even the pain. That’s unconditional love.
Finally, please let me set the record straight, because Shakespeare’s plays are full of other inspiring, clever, and even funny quotes about friendship, none of which is the following, which has been falsely attributed to him:
“A friend is one that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently allows you to grow.”
It’s not a bad quote, especially the part about a friend allowing you to grow, but . . . Its. Not. Shakespeare.
Despite the fact that it’s plastered all over Pinterest as belonging to the bard, he didn’t write it or say it.
So, in honor of Shakespeare’s birthday this week, here’s a quote on friendship that IS actually from William Shakespeare:
“I would not wish
Any companion in the world but you.”
Have a great week and show your friends (furry and otherwise) some unconditional love!
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