Flip a Coin
“What do you want?”
It’s the question that Jesus asked more than any other in the Bible and its a question that many of us have asked ourselves during the past year and a half of the pandemic.
On an existential level, I wondered if it was better answered by heart-centered contemplation than intellectual analysis. In the past I tried to answer that question the traditional way, with a list of pros and cons, a cost-benefit spreadsheet, and a survey of the opinions of third parties.
Frankly, it often left me feeling exhausted, distracted, and off-balance, as if I’ve tried to call someone over and over again, but continued to dial the wrong number.
Although this may sound crazy, I’ve found that an easy and satisfying way to answer the question “What do you want?” is to flip of a coin.
I know, I know. But just hear me out.
Have you ever had to make a difficult or potentially life-altering decision and been at loggerheads with two competing options?
Me too, and many years ago a wise person shared the following advice with me:
“If you can’t decide between two options, flip a coin.
Assign one option to “heads” and the other to “tails,” then flip the coin.
Your heart will tell you which choice you really want to make by the feeling you have when you see the result.
If you really wanted the option assigned to heads, and the coin lands on heads, you will feel a sense of elation, satisfaction, or relief.
If you really wanted the option assigned to heads and the coin lands on tails, you will feel disappointed, angry, or trapped.
Your response to the coin flip answers the question, “What do you want?”
I’ve done it hundreds of times, and it always works. Even for things as simple as choosing between two items on a menu. Try it the next time you can’t decide whether to order chicken or fish.
Recently I looked into the origins of this practice of flipping a coin for important decisions. It is widely known and almost universally praised. I found an article by Jeff Haden on “Inc.com” that reviewed a book called The Leading Brain: Neuroscience Hacks to Work Smarter, Better, Happier, explaining the brain science behind coin-flip decision making.
The authors of The Leading Brain posit that the gut feeling you get when you see the result of the coin flip is leading you to the right decision, and there is a vast quantity of science to back up that proposition.
Chapter 5 of The Leading Brain, explains that there are two regions of the brain that drive our intuition, or the unconscious mind’s decision-making apparatus. When we are faced with a decision, those two regions (the basal ganglia and the insula) get to work on the correct answer before we’ve picked up the pen to make a list of pros and cons. The basal ganglia catalog your past experiences and routines, and the insula (or insular cortex) handles body awareness. (like telling you when your bladder is full).
By the time you’ve drawn out a cost/benefit chart or surveyed three friends to “think through” a difficult decision, your unconscious has already arrived at the correct result, using your routines and expertise as unconsciously cataloged by your basal ganglia. It’s the difference between solving a complex math problem with a supercomputer versus counting on your fingers.
If your analytical mind and your intuition agree on the decision, your insula provides you with a reward response, which is the feeling of satisfaction or relief.
If your analytical mind disagrees with your intuitional supercomputer, the brain’s anterior cingulate cortex (ACC) registers an error response and you will feel a threat. The authors describe the ACC’s process of sending negativity-related electrical signals as your “oh s#!t!” brain circuitry.
The gut feeling, or intuition, is not hocus pocus, it is the unconscious part of your brain that does the work for you when big decisions need to be made. It is faster (did someone say supercomputer?), easier (because your unconscious has more brain space to work in), and more accurate than your conscious mind. The authors call it “expert intuition” because there is a scientific explanation for how your unconscious brain answers difficult questions. It is decidedly not simply an emotional reaction or inexplicable wild guess.
Intuition goes by many names: sixth sense, insight, foresight, instinct, heart brain, prescience, inner voice, gut feeling, inner guidance, true north, and inner self, just to name a few. It has gotten a bad rap because of historical prejudice of intuition as a feminine trait (sexism, anyone?), biased analysis that favors that which can be easily articulated, and a misunderstanding of what “expert intuition” really means.
Now that scientists’ understanding of the mechanisms of intuition has caught up to what our bodies have known for millennia, and the brain science can be explained with technical and objective language, intuition is finally being given the respect it deserves.
So the next time you have to make a difficult decision, don’t make a list or agonize over all the little details with your limited working memory.
Just flip a coin.
(And, if you try it, I’d love to hear about your experiences!)
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